- Published on Sunday, 21 March 2010 02:10
Hunting With Guys – Ya Gotta Have A Sense Of Humor
I’ll tell you why you never want to be the only woman to go hunting with a couple of guys. It stinks, literally.
No, seriously, it stinks! Nobody smells good when your traipsing out in the woods all decked out to look like the trees or cactus or whatever your surroundings are but now add to that all the bad habits of the average guy. You know what I mean, farting, spitting, peeing every 100 yards. How do they ever get a deer when they put out all those odors?
As I said in another post, I went hunting this week with a friend and my husband. As usual, I was the only woman at the ranch that was actually hunting and not “staying behind”
That meant that I was going to be in a deer stand 2 times a day for hours at a time with two men. Unfortunately the stand we were in was a two “man” stand and there was 3 of us but as my husband pointed out only two were men so it was okay.
My experience with these two men is that their daily “necessity” seemed to be directly linked to sighting the deer stand. I didn’t want to play Momma on the hunting trip but I sure felt like asking if anyone needed to go potty before we head to the deer stand. I had already been deemed "Safari Boss" by the end of day one and I don't think that was termed lovingly. Everyone claimed to be ready with no needs but sure enough as soon as we were within sight of that dang stand the “call of the wild” came again.
We don’t even want to begin to go over the other farting and spitting that was going on in that deer stand. I am sure all the deer within a 10 mile radius had warned each other about the particular stand we were in.
Then there is the snoring. The guys kept dozing off and then they would snore. The surrounding deer probably thought there was a dang bear up in stand.
I have to say we got nothin’ on that trip. We spotted several Axis does but none close enough to ensure they were not bucks that has dropped their antlers at this time of year. They were staying unusually far from the stand and getting just barely within scope range.
I spent hours a day in a deer stand asking the guys, “If a bear poos in the woods do the deer still come”? Okay I guess you had to be there I usually refer to my husband and friend as bears because of their snoring so……..
At the end of the trip research showed the answer to the above question is NO. The deer will not come within 400 yards of the stand if a bear poos in the woods within a mile.
My next trip will be an all women's hunting trip.